However, shortly thereafter, I started to become quite concerned about work. Here are thoughts that went through my head: How will I tell my new boss? Will she be frustrated that now we have to delay certain projects, delay our pediatric expansion, and seek coverage? How will I break the news to male leadership? Who will take care of my patients? How will my patients react? What will they think in this culture of medicine where limited access has become the norm and now I won’t be present for months? What will happen to my career as a Physician and an Entrepreneur?

And then came the other guilt: How can I even think about anything else but my child? How can I put anything before this little life that needs my guidance?

Essentially, guilt was on both sides of the coin.

I asked everyone I could think of about their opinion on when and how and what if, etc. A close friend of mine told me: “We shouldn’t be punished for a physiologic part of our lives as women. We are part of the human race.” And I had to laugh. She was right.

Eventually, for me, it came down shifting my mindset: Just do it. Stop with the indecision. Just march into the office and do it. We were in the middle big office move and there were so many people around, but I snagged 3 minutes with my boss and to my delightful surprise, she couldn’t have been happier and wanted to support me in whatever I needed. We debriefed and I admitted to her I didn’t know how she’d react because of the affect on patient care. She told me to not worry and to tell everyone else when I was ready. Shortly, thereafter, I informed the rest of leadership, and there was resounding support and a flurry of excitement.

It was a huge weight off my shoulders. I was so grateful.

However, I still have my moments of guilt, doubt, fear of the unknown, as my due date approaches, and I know that many other Female Physicians feel unsupported by their institution and communities.

I would like to offer the following:

1. New Job and Maternity Leave Policies: If you are starting a new job and you are thinking about family planning, research the maternity leave policies and clarify if you are not sure. You don’t have to outright say you are trying to have a family, but that it may be something you are considering in the future, or you may eventually want children. I was planning on starting a new job at a new organization and I made sure to ask and it put my mind at ease and helped me create a plan. There are legal implications for discriminating in hiring due to pregnancy, but this can be hard to prove so think of creative ways to ask. The other option is to be completely honest with your new employer. This is situation dependent. Do what is comfortable for you.

2. Current Job and Maternity Leave Policies: If you are currently employed and do not plan on leaving, review your workplace maternity leave policies in detail. This goes for pregnancy, surrogacy (either utilizing a surrogate or serving as a surrogate) and adoption. This is not like a magazine you’re just flipping through. Knowledge is power and will allow you to ask the right questions when you are ready to reach out to Human Resources.

3. Decide when to share the news: Most women will wait until they are reassured by a normal 20 week anatomy scan, but I have known others to announce pregnancy in the first trimester. This is, again, is a personal choice.

4. Have a financial plan: Do I think every woman should receive an entire year of fully paid maternity leave as certain corporations do, or as occurs in countries outside of the US? Absolutely. However, until or if that ever happens, plan for a loss in salary, increased costs, need for savings, and maximizing additional sources of income. Consider an additional short and longterm disability plan prior to starting a family if you are considering having children, given there is no way for you to predict what will happen (postpartum complications, a child with a disability, etc).

5. Create your village: Determine who you can go to for what kind of support. As someone who does not like to ask for help, this has been a challenging task for me, but I am learning to lean on others, believing I can accept assistance, especially from those who I know genuinely want to be there for me.

6. Choose yourself: We all walk different paths and I challenge you to choose yourself and focus on your new bundle(s) of joy. Work is work. Money is Money. But time is invaluable.

References: 

1. States with the highest percentage of female physicians: Report

2. Nation’s physician workforce evolves: more women, a bit older, and toward different specialties

3. College Enrollment and Work Activity of Recent High School and College Graduates Summary.

4. Women Continue to Make Gains in Medical School Enrollments.

5. Physician Burnout Through the Female Lens: A Silent Crisis.

6. Here’s what paid maternity leave looks like around the world